Journey Of A 100 Rants

This blog post has been in the making for quite some time now. I started out to make a list of top 5 or top 10 things that I find most annoying but I soon realized that a count of 5 or 10 is too small to fit the purpose. So here is my list of 100 things that annoy me the most. I'm sure you will be able to relate to most of these. And in case of the unlikely event that you find yourself on the list, don't worry, I always make exceptions for friends and readers of my blog, so I still love you. Besides, most of it is just tongue-in-cheek humour :P

I hate:

1. Infidelity.
2. Procrastination.
3. Assignments.
4. Grading on a curve.
5. Global warming.
6. Being misunderstood.
7. Lying awake at night unable to sleep.
8. That I am already having a midlife crisis.
9. Gals who pretend to be single but actually aren't.
10. Guys who are actually single but pretend that they aren't.
11. That great gals always go for the sensitive guys.
12. That great gals who don't dig sensitive guys fall for the jerks.
13. That I am neither sensitive nor a jerk.
14. Married people with kids (here on called MPWKs to conserve writing space)
15. MPWKs who get to use the carpool lane although they are not actually carpooling since they would have driven in the same car anyway.
16. MPWKs who weasel out of taking their car when it comes to actual carpooling to a group event since they have no sitting space for co-workers because of the kiddie seats.
17. MPWKs who complain about crowds.
18. MPWKs who create crowds by bringing kids and prams.
19. MPWKs who believe that after entering a restaurant, it is the restaurant owner's responsibility to make their kids behave.
20. MPWKs who have bumper stickers "My kid is a honor student at..."
21. Flip cellphones.
22. Cellphones with loud ringtones.
23. Cellphones with loud people.
24. That incoming SMSs are not free.
25. The iPhone hype.
26. The Windows blue screen of death.
27. The Xbox360 red ring of death.
28. Smog tests.
29. Parallel parking.
30. That public transport in US sucks.
31. Roads that have intersections/traffic lights but are still called expressways.
32. That inspite of spending so much to buy a car, it is the pedestrians that have right-of-way.
33. ATMs that have transaction surcharge.
34. Crowded gyms.
35. People at the gym who walk the treadmill at 2 mph with zero incline.
36. That people who want to play ping pong keep increasing in proportion with number of available ping pong tables.
37. People who stare at you blankly while listening to their iPods.
38. Pink color.
39. Unattended shopping carts.
40. Keys that say "Do not duplicate" on them.
41. The State of Arkansas.
42. High Fructose Corn Syrup.
43. That most desi restaurants close by 9:30 pm.
44. That instant tea is no where as good as instant coffee.
45. That sausages and scones taste nothing like what Enid Blyton described in her stories.
46. That chocolates in the US are no where as good as European chocolates.
47. That good French food is so expensive.
48. That Starbucks discontinued the Chantico.
49. Devaluation of currency.
50. Taxes.
51. Single people whining about paying more taxes than married people.
52. Married people whining about not getting enough tax breaks.
53. That the IRS will catch you if you don't pay the right amount of tax but won't tell you upfront what that amount is.
54. That Halloween is not a national holiday.
55. That company workplaces do not have spring break.
56. Exits that say "Do not exit. Alarm will sound."
57. Forwarded emails that tell you to enjoy life.
58. Forwarded emails that tell you to forward the email.
59. That India did not qualify to the Super 8's.
60. That I don't have any super powers.
61. Scratched dvds.
62. Dvd players that are overly sensitive to scratched dvds.
63. Kareena Kapoor.
64. Sooraj Barjatya.
65. Paris Hilton.
66. People who think Paris Hilton is just misunderstood and deserves a second chance.
67. Neal N' Nikki - The movie, the characters in the movie and the actor-actress in real life.
68. That Neo had to die.
69. That Alfred Hitchcock never won an Oscar.
70. The guy who played Luke Skywalker.
71. That cable companies charge extra for HD.
72. Gals who watch Lord Of The Rings just coz Orlando Bloom looks oh-so-cute with his pointy elf ears.
73. The K-serials.
74. People who follow K-serials and won't shut up.
75. Hangovers.
76. Heartburn.
77. Bad hair days.
78. Private jokes.
79. That there aren't any 1UP mushrooms in real life.
80. Racism.
81. Street muggings.
82. That the really annoying people you wish would get mugged, never get mugged.
83. Nightmares.
84. Having nice dreams and then waking up to realize it wasn't real.
85. "Do not walk on the grass" signs.
86. Cute gals who swear.
87. Musicals.
88. Drunk driving.
89. The rat-race and the fact that even if I win, I'd still be a rat.
90. People who add veggies while making Maggi.
91. Toast speeches that try to be funny but fall flat.
92. That I still don't have a numbered Swiss bank account.
93. Wet blankets. (Especially the really soggy ones)
94. Plastic packaging that says "Peel here to open" but refuses to peel open.
95. Dentist appointments.
96. That gals say "Nothing. I'm fine" when asked what's wrong.
97. Obsessive Compulsive Disorders.
98. Initiation fees, processing fees and non refundable deposits.
99. That I am no where close to starting my own coffee shop.

And last but not the least: Hippies.

Whew! Now I feel better :)